Handling Disagreements

Disagreements are a common element within communication since we won't always see things the same way as others. This is good because it can give us a much-needed perspective shift. Today we want to talk about some good ways to handle disagreements and why it's important.

Listen First

A common point of contention when it comes to disagreements is when we try to speak over the other person. Too often do we feel a rush to try and share our thoughts or try to prove someone’s point of view wrong. In reality, this doesn't work and often builds resentment. Instead of trying to share your point of view immediately, try to focus on listening first. Listening helps slow down the flow of conversation and puts emphasis on someone else. It allows us to get a more accurate viewpoint on how they perceive something and can help us work towards resolving it more. Listening conveys that we care about someone’s opinion and is a basic form of respect. Conversation is a form of give and take, and giving someone the proper amount of time to express themselves and vice versa is good since it can let each side feel heard.

“A common point of contention when it comes to disagreements is when we try to speak over the other person.”

Focus on Where You Agree

Focusing on where you agree is a great means of solving a disagreement because it conveys that you are on the same side as someone else. Finding points where you can tell someone that you see things the same way, or you've been through something similar are good because it lets them know they aren't alone in their thoughts. Oftentimes when we are in a disagreement, we may feel that we're the only one who feels the way we do which is why people may defend their point passionately. While expressing yourself in this manner can be okay, it's often better to enter into it in a calm state where both sides can easily understand each other. Mutual agreement points are needed as they can help ease tension in an agreement and focus on cooperation rather than competition.

“Focusing on where you agree is a great means of solving a disagreement because it conveys that you are on the same side as someone else.”

Express Yourself Respectfully

Expressing yourself in a respectful manner is an excellent means of handling disagreements because it can avoid unnecessary tension. A common problem many people face within a disagreement is that in most cases it is a critique of the thought or idea, not the person. This is an important distinction to make since it emphasizes that your thoughts are not a personal attack but rather you expressing your feelings about the situation. This sort of disassociation is necessary because it helps us focus on a more open form of expression. This can let you focus on being more authentic and focusing on the message itself and how it makes you feel. Avoiding things such as “you language” can also help with this because it also works in tandem with critiquing the thought rather than the person. Disagreements can be daunting to work through but approaching them with a cool and collected mindset can help you in your relationships.


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Handling Disagreements